I GOT THIS!

As I sat in my window seat with my head resting  against the small oval glass that separated me from the boundless sky beyond, I couldn't help but feel  excitement, trepidation,  purpose, destiny, anticipation, but mostly an unwelcome fear of what the next 10 days of my life would look like. I knew I was physically prepared for this journey. I had devoted countless hours of rehearsal, dieting, exercising and not to mention walking endless miles in my 5 inch stiletto heels. My fear came from not knowing if I was mentally prepared for this journey. The landing gear came down and jarred me back into reality. I took a breath as the plane descended into the Dominican Republic and repeated my favorite mantra, “I GOT THIS!”. 

After collecting  nine suitcases, which I know is quite excessive but unfortunately quite necessary, I stopped in the “bano” and freshened up. I had already spotted other contestants from various countries like Brazil, Aruba, India and Spain. These girls came to win, dressed in meticulous outfits with their crown and sash displayed across their chests, teams of social media following behind them recording every move they make, even in the smoldering hot airport. I splashed some water on my face, looked in the mirror and repeated, “I GOT THIS!”. I opened my crown case and pulled out my sash. I touched the USA embroidered across the sash and felt an immense surge of pride and patriotism. I put my sash over my head and adjusted the “USA” across my chest. I still sometimes can’t believe I’m representing the entire United States of America as Teen Universe. The weight of this journey starts to creep back up onto my back. I don’t want to let down my team, my parents, my sponsors, my friends and family but most importantly my country and myself. Instead of fighting the weight, I welcome it. I’ve been preparing for this moment since I was ten years old competing at my very first scholarship pageant. I was a shy, unconfident little bean pole back then. Constantly bullied for my excessive height, which now is such a blessing from God. I have grown so much in the last seven years. My pageant life has gained me confidence, self-esteem, public speaking skills, and my favorite part is my devotion to community service and the service of others. It has opened so many doors and professional opportunities for me. There are so many societal stereotypes surrounding pageants, I know I had them too, but all of them have been proven false by my own personal journey through this exciting world. 

I take a deep breath and let it out. I kick off my comfy shoes and slip my blistered, callous ridden feet into my five inch heels. I take one last look in the mirror and see my ten year old self staring back at me. I give her a wink and say, “WE GOT THIS!” as I head out to compete for the title of Teen Universe International.